Good chick lit can be fun, but this is disappointing

I only picked up this book despite its unpromising cover and title, because I had previously read Zen Cho’s Black Water Sister, which despite its flaws, had a very authentic Malaysian vibe to its dialogues, which were a lot of fun. Sadly, The Friend Zone Experiment is just a chick lit novel, without even any authentic Singaporean-speak, despite the fact its protagonist, Renee Goh, is Singaporean.

It begins supposedly with a drama of Renee preparing herself for a 2 week vacation with Jason Tsai, her pop star boyfriend in London, where she already lives (in a 3 million pound apartment gifted to her by an aunt just to spite the family), and her super successful clothing business she built up all on her own little lonesome, though

”Dad had provided the capital, though he grumbled about it” (p14)

Dad is the owner of the supposedly extremely successful company, Chahaya. Jason dumps her on the first morning – though heaven knows why he did not call off the two week vacation together – and Renee cries as she walks home but is absolutely fine by the time she gets home, and is over Jason. Why on earth our protagonist would want to have such a boyfriend in the first place, is the first of many questions which means the novel barely hangs together, and would insult even the meanest of intelligence, which many chick lit novels routinely do.

It really is a very cliché novel, as Bridget Jonesy as they come. Renee is supposed to be so clever and capable, but she seems to stumble into one embarrassing situation after another.

“She was already maxed out on humiliation after this morning’s shenanigans” (p159)

There is of course the feisty, sorted, loyal best friend and side kick, Nathalie, who tells Rachel the usual best friend stuff like:

“You are hot, you are smart, you are successful, you are even nice. It is the whole package” (p159)

Or explains for the benefit of the reader, in case the reader didn’t get it the first few times it was already said and said,

“What’s going on with that guy? He acts like he’s crazy about you back at uni and then you make out and he dumps you. Now he turns up and acts like he’s crazy about you again.” (p158)

The plot is childishly stereotyped too – Rachel’s amor is Yap Ket Siong from Malaysia, a poor but talented pianist, reduced to teaching piano classes when he and his brother and mum flee to England for safety. They flee Malaysia because his mother, supposedly a high flying lawyer, blows the whistle on corruption, only to have her job terminated. The family friend who also tries to expose corruption disappears without trace, and the Yap family fear for their own lives. Just as Ket Siong and Renee fall in love, Ket Siong learns that Renee’s father and her family company are in cahoots with the corrupt people. For reasons best known to him, he refuses to tell her although she is already estranged from her family, and he breaks up with her at once, without reason. And seemingly, for no purpose either.

After Renee’s dumping by Jason Tsai, after 10 years of not meeting Ket Siong, what are the chances, she meets him the very next night in an exhibition, and they immediately hook back up again. Of course. Because they cannot resist each other or keep their hands off each other. (Try not to roll eyes.) And they do not get together because Renee feels they should only be friends for now – heaven knows why – but don’t bother with the rationalising or whys and wherefores, it is all so flimsy and carelessly assembled it wouldn’t stand up to discussion anyway. I could even forgive the ridiculous plotline, given this is a chick lit, rom com style, but the writing is puerile,

“She felt dirty and gross and ashamed” (p122)

“She felt deflated, grubby and sad” (p168)

Really? That’s all that could be managed??

There is very little local vibe about the novel, not much about being Malaysian or Singaporean in London, not much about being Malaysian or Singaporean full stop. The protagonists may as well be from Mars, for all the difference it would have made. No great local accents or slangs or dialogues, as Zen Cho had previously produced. Nothing at all remarkable about this novel to make it any different from the generic, formulaic stereotyped western romance novels, in fact. Oh wait, there was a flash of local accent, Ket Siong’s mum, the lawyer, oddly enough speaks as if she doesn’t know much English,

“I’ll see you when?” (p245)

“I told you all, cannot fight” (p238)

Then when her elder son uses an English idiom and says

It’s just my chickens coming home to roost” (p241)

Ma apparently does not understand

“Chickens? What chickens?  You bought chickens? We already have a lot in the freezer, cannot finish –“ (ibid).

This is not all that doesn’t hang quite right either. There is a mention of how Renee added an x into her text message unintentionally.

“It was one of the British social conventions she was trying to master, like asking people how they were without expecting a real answer, and paying for rounds at the pub” (p212)

If Renee had newly arrived in the UK, this may have been true even if cliched, but 10 years ago she had already done her university degree in London and she has been living in London in her own flat, running her own business in London for years, so it is very odd if she is still trying to learn British social conventions such as adding an x to a text message. This comes across as such a heavy handed and inauthentic addition of would-be foreign detail.

It is also an odd thing that Renee uses a Christian name, whereas her brothers are Su Khoon and Su Beng. Of course, it could be because she is attempting to rebel against her family. But it could also be that the author is trying to make our protagonist more palatable and identifiable to a western market or western readership. 

We are expected to believe Renee is so smart she is the best successor for her father’s company, while she seems incapable of sorting out the basics in her life. We are expected to love the silent, broad, tall Ket Siong, who is super protective, devoted, and caring, and perfect boyfriend material, but also quick to violence against anyone who upsets Renee. We are expected to feel for Renee as things beyond their control keep the lovers apart, and whom moreover are either protecting each other at cross purposes, or protecting their families, or otherwise, acting heroically and selflessly, of course. We are expected to believe Renee knows nothing of the Chahaya’s shady dealings when some of the scandals are all over the internet for anyone to find. Ket Siong finds such clues and leads easily enough even in his inept, flatfooted way. In that at least, Ket Siong and Renee seem well matched, both clueless, both idiots, and both, the writer would have use believe, hapless.

Chick lit, when well done, actually is a perfectly good genre in its own right. But when poorly executed like in this novel, there should be a literary equivalent of tarring and feathering. Disappointed in Zen Cho, who has shown herself capable of much much better.  One eagerly reads Malaysian writers in English, hoping to enjoy the read of course, but at the very least, trying to be supportive. But there are limits, and unless Zen Cho improves her work considerably, I do not think I will want to see more of it.  

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